Maybe you’re tired of listening to your own internal monologue in your head. And your attempts to improve your mood – the cold plunges, the podcasts, the workouts – they help, but they don’t have the lasting effects you’d hoped for. Your friend recommended talking to a therapist, but you have never seen one before and don’t even know where to start. But today, you finally decided to take action.
I’m guessing that if you’re reading this, you might be researching how to find the right therapist.
Welcome. We’re so glad you’re here. Let’s talk about the first step many people take in their search for a therapist: the free consultation call (also known as a meet and greet). We’re going to dive into what you can expect, so that you feel more comfortable and confident in the decision you make about starting therapy and about the therapist you choose.
A consultation call is usually a 15 to 30 minute call (phone or video) between you and a therapist to help you make the decision if you are a good fit for each other. You could think of it as an interview, but we recommend thinking of it as a ‘vibe check.’
The anxiety before a free consultation is real! Even therapists who look for a therapist feel nervous going into these meet and greets. It can feel a bit like a first date: How do I know if they’re ‘the one’? What if I don’t know where to start? What if I open up too much? What if I can’t open up at all? There’s a mix of wanting support and feeling unsure about how to step into it (especially if you’re an overthinker).
You’re not expected to arrive with polished questions or an articulate explanation of what’s going on. You’re simply showing up to see if you feel comfortable talking to this person, if they seem to understand the issues you’d like help with, and if their style and personality work for you.
If you’re a planner, then here are some good questions you can use to guide this initial discussion and help you learn more about your therapist.
Why the First Conversation Matters The Most
In mental health counselling, the connection between you and your therapist is one of the strongest predictors of progress, so you want to make sure you really trust this person and enjoy talking to them. But there are also some practical questions you can ask, to make sure that seeing them is not going to be a logistical challenge.
What is your schedule?
Make sure their schedule works with your schedule. Do they offer evenings and weekends, or just daytime appointments. How far in advance do you typically need to book?
What therapy modalities do you use most?
Modality is the approach or method a therapist uses to help you work through different questions and struggles. This is important to some people, while others don’t really care about therapeutic modality. Either way, it’s worth asking them to describe their approach so that you can decide whether it sounds like something that will work for you.
How will I know if therapy is helping me?
It’s totally reasonable to ask about how they help their clients progress and see results.While you are the expert of your own life (and we truly believe that), therapists have an extensive knowledge base about mental health, relationships, and life transitions, and you deserve to receive competent and confident care.
If you need progress markers, or some way to know you are moving through the process, ask if they can work with you on that. If you prefer less defined deadlines, that should also be a conversation.
What does a typical session with you look like?
This helps you picture yourself in the room (or on the call). Some therapists are more structured, some are more fluid and conversational.There are merits to all of these approaches, but one may be a better fit for you than the others.
How do you support clients who feel nervous, stuck, or unsure what to talk about at the start?
This question is especially helpful if you already feel anxious about therapy. Their answer will tell you a lot about how safe and supported you’ll feel when you’re not sure where to begin.
Remember: this is your journey, and the right therapist will guide you through it. Your goal here is to find someone you feel comfortable talking to and that you could see yourself working alongside through difficult experiences and, emotions Ask the questions you need to ask in order to feel safe.
Understanding How a Therapist Approaches Their Work
If you are new to counselling, modalities may be new to you but they are the system a therapist uses to help you work through your situation. Each modality is supported in a different way and therapists can use one or many different modalities to support you.
Here are a few of the basics to get to understand them a little better:
- Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT): focuses on patterns between thoughts, feelings, and behaviours and teaches practical tools
- Emotion-Focused Therapy (EFT): works with emotions to understand needs and improve emotional regulation and connection
- Somatic therapies: focus on how stress and trauma show up in the body, not just in thoughts
- Psychodynamic therapy: explores past experiences and patterns that influence how you feel and relate today
- Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT): helps you build flexibility with thoughts while taking action based on your values
Asking about their modality or focus invites the therapist to explain their approach to mental health counselling in a way that’s personal, rather than technical. Every therapist blends their training differently. Some offer a more structured style, others lean into open-ended exploration, and many combine both depending on what the client needs.
You can also explore how clients build momentum over time by reading our post on five ways to make therapy more effective.
Asking About Support for Anxiety
If you’re specifically looking for anxiety counselling, you can ask how they typically support clients who experience worry, fear, panic, or racing thoughts. Anxiety is one of the most common issues in our society with the introduction of phones and the constant pressure to always be on the brain never feels like it can be turned off.
The therapist’s answer doesn’t need to sound impressive. It just needs to feel grounded and understandable. If you feel calmer after hearing their perspective, that’s often a good sign.
If anxiety is the main reason you’re seeking support, you can also look into our dedicated page on anxiety counselling
Exploring What Progress Might Look Like
Many clients hesitate to ask about progress because they’re worried it sounds demanding, but it’s a completely reasonable question. Progress in therapy doesn’t always look like big breakthroughs or complete transformation.
Sometimes it’s subtle: a shift in how quickly you spiral, less guilt when setting boundaries, or more patience with your kids.
Understanding how your therapist tracks these small changes or outlining that you want this to be tracked are a great way for you to feel more comfortable in the process.
Remember this is your journey and you are looking for the best support system who will also teach you additional support systems to use outside your sessions. Comfort is the main priority.
Talking About Preferences and Communication Style
You are allowed to have preferences in therapy. Some people feel safer when the therapist talks more. Others need someone who lets them speak without interruption. Some want gentle questions, while others want more direct guidance.
Sharing these preferences is part of finding an environment where you can be honest. A therapist who is a good fit will welcome this information and explore how to create a space that feels right for you.
Clarifying Practical Details Without Losing the Human Element
A consultation is also the right moment to understand the practical pieces: how long sessions are, what fees look like, whether appointments are online or in person, and how cancellations work. While these details may seem small compared to the emotional work ahead, they help create stability and predictability, two things that matter deeply in mental health counselling, especially for clients navigating anxiety.
Asking What Happens When Therapy Gets Hard
No matter how strong the connection is, therapy will bring up emotions that feel uncomfortable. Asking your therapist how they support clients when sessions become challenging can give you a sense of safety.
During a free consultation, you can ask your potential therapist: if I need to bring something difficult up and I’m feeling uncomfortable or anxious about it, what’s the best way to do so? How can I give you a heads up that I may need some help?
We highly recommend asking (and not enough people do): how do you respond to feedback if I feel like I’m not really being understood?
A therapist who can answer that openly is showing you that they won’t withdraw when things get complicated.
Letting Your Body Tell You the Truth
After the consultation ends, the most important information often comes from your body rather than your mind. Notice how you felt during the call. Was it easy to ask them questions and did you feel comfortable with all of their responses?
Therapy isn’t about choosing the “best” therapist. It’s about recognizing the right one for you, someone who feels steady enough to sit with you through anxiety, fear, confusion, and change. If you finish the consultation and feel eager (or at least willing) to start working with the therapist, that’s a great indication that you have found a good fit.
A first consultation is the beginning of that relationship. The questions you ask help you understand your therapist, but the way you feel in their presence helps you understand yourself.
Ready to begin? You can book your free consultation through our online booking system.